Salvation 20mg

I knew I needed you
to keep me sane.
Mood stabiliser
they called you.
Happy pill I dubbed you.
But happy was I
or a slave to you.
Chained to you
with unbreakable shackles.
I tremble under your power
I cried when you were gone
I turned catatonic
when I was with you.
Yet they call you my salvation.
My only hope at ‘normalcy’.
Do not abandon me
Don’t come too close
The perfect distance
yet to be found.
Till then its me and you
to the end.

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End of Existence

What if I just ceased to exist?
Existing in the barren un-
forgiving land of dependency.
The little bursts of color
that breathed ‘life’ into me
not enough anymore,
fellow zombies who
suck the last bit of ‘life’
out of me.
Happiness of ‘humans’
thrown in my face.
Burning like acid down my throat.
Choking me, destroying me.
What if I vanish tomorrow
or better yet, now?
Would the world
be a brighter place,
without my dark rants
disturbing the peace?
Thanatos, embrace me now!
For I have failed miserably.
For I am tired of this half life
searching for the whole of me.

Changes, Heartbeats & Love songs

Too many changes
not enough space.
At a fast pace
my heart’s beating away.
How do you know
just how to slip past
my defenses.
Too many changes
for me to take in.
Want to flee far,
run from it all.
Can’t escape,
no where to hide.
Go away my love,
leave me alone.
Coz in your silence
I find peace.

Wow! Being a woman is so much fun!

What am I?
A notch on your bedpost,
Armcandy to decorate your status.
Who am I?
A daughter,lover,wife..
When do I get to be me?
Or do I ever?
I don’t even truly have
a name to call my own.
Coz you insist to call out
your ownership on me.
Endearments, double entendrés,
jabs at my character,
abuses hurled at me..
They make no difference
to me stuck in this golden cage.

Belief & God with extra hypocrisy please..

You say you love God
& you’re a believer.
I say i love God
& become the oppressor
of ‘minorities’.
I’m a fanatic
whereas you’re
a believer.
I incite communal tension
while you remain
the paragon of peace & virtue.
You call for brotherhood
and its called love.
I do the same
and its labeled terrorism.
I’m the sinner
You are the saint.
My deeds criminal
Yours the norm.
My sweat & blood go down
the drainpipe of equality
While even your mediocrity
is kept high up
on a pedestal.
All said and done
what should I believe?
Where’s my equality?
Where’s my tolerance & love?
Accident of birth
gave you a silver spoon,
while I’m left to survive
on scraps of myth and legends.

txt-book affair

I know
that you know
I love you.
Still we dance
around the facts,
around each other..
Playful jabs
hide the plain truths.
Pretty smileys
pose as proxy love.
Still the fact remains
that I won’t be the first
to tell you.
But I hope…
Against hope
that me and you
turn to
‘us’ against the world.

(Love)story of Phoenix & Medusa

You’re a fog
and I’m lost in you.
Fused into one
we go up in flames.
Out of the ashes
we emerge
into the gates of heaven.
Happy tears streaming
down my cheeks
to soak your raven hair.
Cocooned in our
happy bubble,
I think back to the days
we spent circling,
tiptoeing around
the giant in the room.
Love blooming like
the prettiest wild flower
threaded through my golden locks
like pristine ivory adorning
your guarded heart.
Knowing not that it’s
started beating
to the tune of mine.
Thinking back
to the countless times
I almost told you,
and time stood still
as I dreamed our story.
Needing you
to say the first words
for I feared
that I’d be burned
down to ashes,
or turned to stone
with the sheer power
of your gaze.

Postpartum blues

Cut into two
my heart has ruptured.
You were a part of me
for so long and now
we’re no longer one.
separated, pulled away
with a cry.
Postpartum blues
plague my restless soul.
Cant seem to stop
the swing of the pendulum,
crashing against the shore,
dizzy with worry,
swinging out of control,
spiraling into
the blue abyss…
Your tiny hands
catch hold of my fingers.
Innocent eyes look up
at me in wonder.
And I’m no longer falling.
Anchored to you
my tiny angel.
The beat of your heart
has brought me back to life.

Waltz of love & lust

Dancing in the darkness,

waltzing under the pleasure dome,

we get bolder

as the night goes on.

The moves more risqué,

the twirls more ethereal,

Passionate glances 

laden with simmering heat.

Dopamine and oxytocin 

go off the charts.

Knowing not 

where you end

and I begin.

As the night goes on 

we get bolder.

Moonlit beauty breathtaking.

Candles flicker shyly

as we waltz and 

wade in this drunken love. 

Reckless abandon 

lights up the night, 

brings a spring to my step

as I drown in ecstasy- 

drown in you.