Heartbreak & Hope

Days and weeks go by
with songs of heartbreak on a loop,
‘coz happy songs start off crying jags.
I wonder –
how could a song
that brought me so much joy
make me break out in tears
and curses now?
Binge eating the sadness away
and finding pleasure in the pain.
A wistful sadness tinge
the happy memories.
Meanwhile you move on
as if you’re a snake
shedding old skin.
A silver tongued snake
that got under my skin
faster than you could say
I love you.
Still the song moves on
to happier notes,
the tinkling chime of laughter
fill he hopeful air.

Advertisements

Beastly Beauty

Roaring into life,

the beast within the machine.

Breathing fire & spitting smoke.

Flying past pigmies,

raging on gray roads,

going forth lording over minions.
Stand in my way 

and I’ll mow you down.

Blood and tears trail behind me.

Regardless I go forth..

On to conquer,

on to break apart

and forever trying 

to break away.

No Happy Endings

What is sad about those
who’ve passed away
is that they stop being part of
our conversations.
As a curious eight year old
I used to talk to granny about
death and what comes after.
She promised me she’d send me
postcards from wherever she goes
after she leaves the world of the living.
Little did I know
that soon our conversations
would become a memory
and I’d be left waiting and waiting
for those postcards in my name.
What is sad about those
who’ve passed away
is that they play a constant game
of hide ‘n’ seek even in our
fondest memories.
As a lil girl in the world
of big brothers I had none
to play dress up with
till my auntie dearest stepped up
to the role of my playmate
and personal doll.
Playing dress up
and plaiting her long hair
into whatever do’s I could dream up.
Never complaining that
my little fingers would
tangle her pretty locks
beyond repair or recognition.
My playmate, my doll
turned confidante when I grew up,
never could foresee that all
those pretty locks would
soon become just a fond memory
as she fell prey to a monstrous disease.
My doll was still the
most beautiful thing
I’ve ever seen, even without those
long pretty locks.
Little did I know that
my playmate too would be soon
snatched away from me.
Or that the lil girl would
now grow her hair long
to grasp at her fondest memories.
Soon the postcards, the pretty locks
became memories kept in the
prettiest corners of my heart
even as they stopped becoming
part of our conversations.
I frantically tied those
memories close, in the hope
that I’d never forget them.

PicsArt_04-18-07.27.18

Breakup song

No more apologizing
in the name of love.
No more tears for you.
No more hiding the pain.
No more deifying your voice,
dissecting your words.
Disengage, disconnect, disappear.
My songs too
young for you
my youth too jarring.
I tried to grasp at
the faint shards
happiness we shared.
But the lies you spoke,
the broken promises you made
are burning the bridges
between us.
The shadows of what ifs
haunting us.
Your ghosts down every
memory lane.
I can’t erase you.
But I can very well
turn the page.

Tale of Caution – part 2

Color me surprised
when the sundew
has a change of heart.
To swallow the prey
or toy with it some more.
When the drosera cries
you know you’re in for a show.
Rehashing the battle,
prisoners of war unsure
of where they belong anymore.
Like a moth to flame,
I fall into the web
as the sweet fragrance
of sundew flower
weaves a chimera of
magic and hope.
Fly close and fall prey
to sweet sticky tentacles
closing over you.
Choking the life,
the happiness out of you.
‘The sheer beauty
of your shining traps’
may seduce the innocent
But not the wised up
not anymore.

Ball of catharsis

Wish you were a stress ball
so I could squeeze you to death.
Take out all my excesses on you
Blame it on mood swings –
Swinging towards anger,
Soon follows self loathing, despair
Anger turns to embers
Slowly burning till the next time.
Meanwhile you’re squeezed
And squeezed and squeezed to death
All in the name of love.

Addictive love

How do I explain
this sweet addiction my love?
Can’t seem to quit you,
no walking into it
or taking it slow.
Only rushing headfirst
and thinking later.
The crazed frenzy
to hear your sweet voice-
molasses and honey
heavenly baritone,
Home to my soul
and hope to my despair..
Like a lovesick fool
I search for glimpses of you.
Mooning over those cute smiles
fleeting glances, shared laughs.
This is falling,
Falling into you.